HOW TO REORGANIZE FOR HAPPINESS AFTER A DIVORCE
The big thing about going through the experience of a divorce is
that it leaves you completely worn out and drained of desire to
go on with your life. Typically, divorces shatter the hopes and
dreams - the ambitions - of both parties involved. Most of the
time, the one who's been victimized feels that he or she has no
more purpose or inspiration for achievement. He or she feels
that whatever they do, it won't matter to the person they most
wanted to do for, so what does it matter what they do with
themselves.
This is the wrong kind of thinking! You musn't let yourself
think along these lines! Divorce is terribly hard and an
emotional blow that's difficult to recover from, but it should
not be "taken" as the end of everything. You have to accept it
as the end of one period or chapter of your life; look at it as
an opportunity for a new beginning, and build a better you from
there.
Above all else, don't panic. If you panic, you can't think, and
in order to make any progress in life, you've got to think.
Don't get dramatic and over dramatize your woes either in your
imagination or in words - spoken or written. If your immediate
situation seems overwhelming and you're unable to see how you'll
ever make it through the next week, don't start crying and
feeling sorry for yourself - it will only bog you down with the
inability to think clearly.
Don't allow yourself to engage in post-mortems and/or nurse
regrets. It's important that you forget about the past - let it
rest - there's nothing you can do to change it - accept your
situation as it is, and build your life to what you want it to
be from this moment onward.
One of the most important things for you to do is to list on
paper exactly, your present situation and then, one at a time,
list your options and possible solutions to each problem. Don't
worry about finding a solution for everything all at once; just
try to see clearly what your next step ought to be.
Always ask yourself what the right course is - remembering that
if what you do isn't right, then it's wrong; and no wrong action
ever works out right.
It's imperative that you understand the emotional injury of your
situation, but at the same time, it's also imperative that you
not stand still. In other words, you must quickly - without
delay - regain control of your life and get on with the
attainment of all your ambitions.
You do this by expunging the past, taking stock of your present
situation, and making plans for the rest of your life - by
deciding what you want out of life and how you intend to get
what you want. Do it on paper and set realistic goals for
yourself, as well as dates for attainment.
Happiness in life is a feeling of inner satisfaction you feel
when you enjoy whatever you do - your work, your leisure time
activities, the people you associate with, and acceptance by the
people you most to impress...
It doesn't come from harboring grudges - from attempting to be
something you're not - from expecting the world and/or the
people around you to cater to your problems or desires - or from
your position or status in life...
Indeed, happiness comes from your association and inner-action
with other people. Thus, following a divorce, you must
immediately begin mingling with other people and not only be
empathetic relative to ways in which you can help them, but also
interested in them as people. The more you reach out to help
others, the more help you'll receive in return; and at the
bottom line, the greater your own personal happiness.
So, in order to attain happiness after a painful divorce - you
must "close the book" on everything in the past; take stock of
your present situation; lay out a "game plan" for what kind of
life you want; start moving in a positive direction to achieve
your ambitions; and even if you have to force yourself, make new
friends and enjoy yourself.
Don't go around sizing up or evaluating every man or woman you
meet as a possible candidate for your next marriage - get on
with your life - do what you have to do to attain your ambitions
- inter-mingle with people and be a real friend - give yourself
and other people a chance - and when the time is right, love
will find you again.
You musn't go looking for happiness or love for as surely as you
do; you'll never find it. You must be satisfied with yourself as
a person - whatever it is you're doing, you're doing your best;
attempting to always improve yourself; and you're moving in a
positive direction towards the fulfillment of the kind of person
you want to be - and, you enjoy mingling with people; talking
with them; helping them; and doing things with them.
Remember, to attain success in life you have to know what it is
you want and how to get there. Once you're on a positive road
towards the attainment of success, you'll find that it will come
easily and quickly. With a positive direction in life, you'll
feel better about yourself and associating with other people as
a friend will come about automatically. You'll no longer think
about the world or other people as threatening - in fact, you'll
enjoy being alive and the dawning of each new day - and that's
when you will really be happy.
Again, it's a matter of getting on with your life - of
forgetting about the past and moving positively towards the
things that you want in life. Give in to the hurt you feel and
you'll surely waste away - Consider this a new start in life and
it can all be yours - whatever you do, the choice is yours...